I realized that sometimes, days go by when I don’t even say thank you for a happy day you’ve given me. I’d murmur something foul when something bad happens and I’d say sorry to you, and only then will I pray for me to change my wrong ways. I’d sit there smiling on the altar almost every week, but I never get to tell you everything like I used to. And yes, I still think that everything I say and do can be heard and seen up above, so basically I have these extremely childish idea of you knowing my every thought and not speaking a word because I’d learn from one of the best teachers - experience. And yes, as silly as some might find it, I still believe in that. <3 Smiling as I type this, I want to start my year right, however late others might find it. It’s only page 7 of 366, I want to spend the next days of my life devoted to you, Lord. I realized that whenever I pray really hard for something, I will for it to happen, but only a few times have things turned the way I didn’t want it to. And yes, getting used to everything I want in life is impossible, but really this feeling is very new to me. And while it has been a year of more downs than ups, I am here Lord, praying to you. I don’t know why…or maybe I do. I have come to accept the things you have planned out for me. I have come to see the giant coincidence you’ve made for almost all my roads to cross each other. I have seen with my own two eyes the windows that have closed and the giant doors that have opened. I have seen the perfection right before my eyes that I just neglected and ignored. You have knocked me down to my knees Lord, so here I am in the perfect position to pray. I pray for my sins to be long forgotten as well as to be tattooed on my mind as a wise man I shall continue to learn from. I pray Lord for something I have been praying for almost a year now. I pray that everything will fall into order. I pray that I become courageous enough to fight against myself when willpower is down in the darkest pit. I pray that this year I won’t just pray when I feel like it, but I will constantly do so. I pray that I won’t pray for things anymore, but will make things happen. Lord, you are God, my Savior, my Life. I love you with all my heart. Please accept this prayer. Thank you. Sorry. Watch me.

Amen.

4 months ago · Notes